Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. Jack be at buttcandle.com. Apparently.
Archive for March, 2001
a fair balance
man beef
For the last 19 years ManBeef has been the worlds leading human meat distributor. We have established a reputation for having only the highest quality human meat products and dedicated customer service representatives. Because we only cater to a select group of people, we try to keep a close relationship with all of our customers. The allows us to help you get the best quality human meat for your budget, and ship it right to your front door. And after 19 years of business, you can now access our products and services online!
i suck
Why does eveyone hate me?
A day in the life
A day in the life: The day in question being an employee’s first and only day in a new dot-com job…
Payphone Project
The Payphone Project is one of those endearing labour-of-love sites which appears completely pointless at first glance, but grows in charm the further you delve. Not only does it feature a variety of links to payphone-related news stories (Hong Kong: Pay-phone explosion sparks safety checks), but it features the numbers of high-profile public phones from around the globe. Want to call The Vatican? It’s 390 (66982) 69.88.35.11. The Eiffel Tower? Try +33 (0)1 47 53 75 68.
job
£45,000 per year? For just three days work every week? What’s the catch?
not smoking
It’s been nearly a week, and I feel like shit. Yep, I’ve given up smoking. It’s not the denial of cigarettes part that’s difficult, but I’m recovering from flu at the same time, so on one hand my body is trying to purge itself of years of tobacco related poison, whilst on the other I’m all congested ’cause I’ve been sick, and as a result my head is fat with a mucous that doesn’t want to go anyplace soon. I’ve decided to become a real non-smoking bigot as well, the type who’ll grab that packet of B&H from your hand and trample it underfoot, just because *you* had to gall to soil *my* air with *your* disgusting habit. I’m also fully behind EU plans to put pictures of diseased lungs on cigarette packets. Like these pictures. Or these ones.
Er… anyone got a light?
recipe for disaster
Recipe of the day – Ingredients:
one shotgun, preferably one which uses large cartridges
2 foot length of strong pipe, one end sealed
1 empty shotgun shell
uranium-238
Yes children, today we’ll be making a nuclear bomb.
bastard dot com
If you had this URL, wouldn’t you do more with it?