Archive for June, 2001

election fever

Blogjam election day special: “To Brixton; to Clapham; To Vauxhall. Please vote for me. I will call for the legalisation of almost all drugs except opiates; these will be available on prescription to addicts; this will stop the CIA Christian cult from making money off the poor. I will call for the execution of Blair and his heads of military and police.” Well, as manifestos go it’s perhaps a little on the strong side, but I’m still undecided, so why the hell not? (via metafilter)

drug money

You can picture the scene. Brit-art hero Damien Hirst receives the call. There’s a plan to produce a limited edition print of Snowblind, the cult story of cocaine smuggler Zachery Swan. Would Damien like to get invloved? Sure, why not? Hirst spends the best part of 10 seconds considering the most crass and obvious options, and then tells his PA to get on with it. And the result? Oooh! A mirror bound edition! A metal credit card as a bookmark! A ‘free’ $100 bill! Oooh! Oooh! Too much inspiration! My head hurts!

topless bar

Of course, given my predeliction for all things softly pornographic, it’s hardly surprising that I’d link to one woman’s story of her first visit to a strip club. There’s something quite touching about Gwen’s tale though. And she does nice cartoons.

gun laws

Gun talk is so very macho. In Illinois, according to local law, it appears one has to “rack the slide” at some point when attempting to comply with gun concealment regulations. In the example shown, our hero attempts to “deploy the weapon without looking down and be able to keep my eyes on the threat”. One day this man will shoot himself in the foot.

tech savvy

Computer manufacturer Novatech quizzed its customers on their knowledge of their machines, but what became apparent was an overall lack of knowledge. Confessions included that of an employee who, on her first day at work, snapped at IT support for not responding to her calls for help. “Well I pressed the F1 button marked ‘help’ ages ago but nobody came,” she protested. Oh dear. Apparently the British are not as tech-savvy as they’d like to think.

porn invite

Just got some ICQ spam, this one with a slightly more personal touch: “Penny: (6:55 PM) Howdy Would you like to be Get a free email address and homepage at Because you don’t want to make friends, you want to Get Laid.. for free! Well, of course I ICQ’d Penny straight back asking her to be more specific, enquiring if she was perhaps part of the deal. As yet, I’ve heard nothing… but I’m still here, still waiting…

domestic android

“We are pleased to announce the commencement of our own domestic android project. This android will look like a woman. Why? Because a woman is less threatening than a full-sized adult male.” And more suited to domestic chores no doubt… A snip at just $25,000, which includes an artificial nose. Obviously.