Anyone searching Google for kittens is presented with a truly fantastic first page of results, full of genuine Internet classics. There’s Bonsai Kitten, perhaps the most successful spoof site ever, still succeeding in luring animal rights activists into bouts of indignant, incandescent rage. Of course there’s a couple of entries from the mighty Joel Veitch, a man who turned the art of musical animal animation into a multi-billion dollar business empire. There’s the feline popularity site Rate My Kitten, first mentioned in these very pages way back in May 2002. You’ll also find Rob Manuel’s Top 10 Cutest Kittens feature, which has very little to do with kittens at all and should on no account be visited during office hours. Whoops, too late.
My own Random Kitten Generator is hanging in there too, still generating 35,000 page impressions per day more than two years after going online. One side-effect of this popularity is that the more casual Internet surfer, the kind of browser either looking to buy kittens or obtain advice relating to kitten-kind, tends to end up writing to me, as if I’m some kind of genuine kitten authority. Here’s this week’s examples.
I resent lost my cat of 13 yrs, and I want a kitten now. My other cat is a little over 5 yrs, and he wants a playmate, I live outside of Philadelphia Pa.
I am trying to find an orange kitty for my daughter. She has been wanting on for a bit. My husband and I have decided it’s okay. If you have any orange Kittens please let me know. I would really appreciate it. Than you
A friend of ours had a momma cat and it had died a couple days after giving birth to 4 baby kittens
and we were giving 1 of the babies. Now how do we go about making the kitty eat.We bought a baby bottle and some formula and he will not eat.I’m worried and need to know if you can tell me what to do…
Naturally enough, I answer all these queries as ably as I can, informing the writers of pet stores or animal refuges in their locale or, as in the last case, suggesting the use of a syringe (after carefully removing the needle and placing it in the appropriate receptacle) to complete the troublesome task.
It’s as if I’m some kind of Kitten God, dispensing information to those most in need. I think I like this power. I may even start a Church.