frogjam

Regular readers (i.e. those that turn up every day and are only very slightly disappointed to find that I’ve not posted again) will realise that there’s not much more I like than having something to moan about. It’s what I live for, in the absence of much else – the thrill of the well-aimed jibe, the groggy excitement brought on by being able to scoff at another’s inferior product – I can almost pitch a tent in my pants just thinking about it. Which is why you’ll understand the tremendous, pulse-quickening glee I felt when one of those very same regular readers (thanks Cazz) sent me this link: http://allaboutfrogs.org/funstuff/randomfrog.html.

It’s a random frog generator. A generator. That generates random frogs. And of course it doesn’t credit the source of the idea, that fountainhead of all animal-related random imagery, my very own random kitten generator. This gives me all the ammunition I need to go on a week-long safari of moaning, an orgy of wanton griping, a great big dirty protest of bellyaching bile.

But I won’t. Because I quite like frogs.

And because I’m distracted. My iTunes software tells me that I’ve played ‘Ecstacy Dance’ by Gert Wilden and his Orchestra 1,885,628,525 times in the last 26 days, and to do so I fear I must have ripped a hole in the fabric of the space-time continuum in some way. This, quite frankly, is a headache I could do without at the moment.