Archive for November, 2001

vocal removal

The strange things that people do. Language Removal Services take speeches and then proceed to remove all the, er… speech, leaving just the grunts, sighs and heavy breathing. Or, as in the case of Henry Rollins, the primal screaming. The site also features disturbing images of the human vocal chords.


It’s late, I can’t sleep, and I hate Microsoft. I recently installed XP, and it’s really quite nice — as least it looks quite pretty, and seems a lot more stable than Windows 98. Tonight, however, it crashed for the first time. Now every time I log on it tells me that me my PC has recovered from a serious error, and that I’d be advised to submit an report to their online crash analysis site, where they say, “We will try to determine the cause of the Stop error you submit, categorize it according to the type of issue encountered, and send you the initial results by e-mail within 24 hours.” I’ve no issue with this in theory — hell, if I can help to improve the system while solving my own problem I will. What I really object to is the fact that to actually get a response from Redmond, I’m obliged to sign up for a Microsoft Passport, the company’s highly dubious (not to say apparently insecure) invasion of privacy tool. So now I’m suspended in what appears to be an electronic limbo, stuck between error messages and a refusal to toe the party line. Fuckers.

showing off

My friend Dave is a very clever man. Already writing a weblog in Dutch, the worlds most physically demanding language (it continually sounds like native speakers are clearing mucous from their throats), he has now started another. This time it’s written in English and Spanish. What a big show-off.

here kitty

“This is a remarkable story of hope, love, and compassion, which has gained international attention through TV, radio, and newspaper publicity”. A truly remarkable story, the tale of Speedy, the kitten with wheels.

dancing with the duvel

Back from Belgium in time for Eastenders.

Had a very nice weekend with Dave and his good lady, the undoubted highlight of which was attending a Belgian blogmeet. Now, I’m probably in a unique position here to weigh up the evidence and decide who holds the best meetings and provides the best company — the UK bloggers or the Flanders Mob? Having spent a sleepless night attempting to assess the pros and cons, I’ve made my decision based on a solitary, yet vitally impressive factor. Whilst UK bloggers go to the pub to hold their meetings, those crazy Europeans go to… a fort. This makes them clear winners, by some margin, in my book.

Anyhow, they’re a pretty cool bunch, the men from Coolio’s, Punkey, Kiekens,, polskaya, kapingamarangi and, to be honest, a few others I’ve probably forgotten or didn’t speak to. Apologies. I also managed to lift the rock (this will remain cryptic to anyone not in attendance).

On the way home Dave and I were approached by a tall Swedish man covered in blood. He was looking for somewhere to hire a car from and, after we’d explained that this was a little unreasonable in a deserted Antwerp suburb at 1.30am in the morning, we all shook hands politely and went our seperate ways.

The other good thing I did this weekend was read Giles Smith’s brilliant Midnight in the Garden of Evel Knievel, a book so thoroughly entertaining that it led to me being gently admonished by a stewardess for laughing out loud during the in-flight saftety demonstration on the return journey. Recommended.