Archive for May, 2002

number one with a bullet

I’ve just noticed that if you do a Google Seach for Asher D, my countdown is currently number one out of 145,000 possible results. Bling! Bling! All aboard…

Of course, the success of this project should be shared with my flatmate Craig Caukill, who suggested the use of “I Fought The Law” as the background music. He’s pretty damn clever for a Northerner.

sweet release

Hell, we started off today in a less than celubrious way, why not continue? Sweet Release is an oral supplement that changes the, uhm… taste of your sexual fluids, in order to facilate a more enjoyable oral sex experience. Flavours include citrus, chicken jalfrezi and cauliflower cheese. OK, so I made up the last two.

she hulk

Normally I’d steer well away from recommending pornography on this site, but the photos available on this page are without doubt amongst the most peculiar, disturbing images I have ever seen (definitely not safe for work).

more golf

Oh dear, bad news. There’s a new version of mini-putt out, this time a par 70. Much more difficult. My first score resulted in a 48, but I’ll persevere…

boring self publicity bit

Right. The redesign is kinda finished now, I guess, with a few glitches remaining I might fix or might just leave. The search engine is back, my wishlist and shop have returned (the latter featuring brand-new cost-price random kitten generator merchandise adorned by Anja’s cat Peregrin), as have the archives. Ooh, and permalinks. Just click on the above each post to locate a specific entry on it’s own page…

fontella toilet

Just got back from seeing The Cinematic Orchestra which was pretty good, especially when the incredible (and I mean incredible) Fontella Bass was onstage, but that’s not the important part. This particular privilege is reserved for the toilets (seen here in another location), which play Jackie Chan movies (in stereo) while one goes about one’s busness. I have seen the future, and it’s shaped exactly like a urinal. With a TV attached.

my new game

I’ve just invented a new game. It’s musical, and you can play it at the I Love Music messageboard. It’s quite difficult, I think, but everyone should join in.

england expects

Seaman (Arsenal), Martyn (Leeds), James (West Ham), Ferdinand (Leeds), Campbell (Arsenal), Southgate (Middlesbrough), Ashley Cole (Arsenal), Bridge (Southampton), Mills (Leeds), Brown (Man Utd), Keown (Arsenal), Beckham (Man Utd), Scholes (Man Utd), Gerrard (Liverpool), Dyer (Newcastle), Butt (Man Utd), Hargreaves (Bayern Munich), Joe Cole (West Ham), Owen (Liverpool), Heskey (Liverpool), Vassell (Aston Villa), Fowler (Leeds), Sheringham (Tottenham). On standby: Murphy (Liverpool). What? No Paul Gascoigne?

burn rate

One for all the noomeejahoors amongst us: Burn Rate is a game where participants are required to keep their struggling dot-coms afloat whilst the business plans fail and the investors vanish. Quite how this differs from everyday reality for many people is another issue, I guess.

scary shop

This is not Toy ‘R Us. Doomation features playthings of an altogether more sinister variety, including the Schweinhund Tar Gnasher, an “aborted tattoo shop window display” which “bleeds from eyes via aquarium pump attachment.” I’m sure Santa will have a sackful.