spice girl

I went on a date once. I know that’s hard to believe, but it’s true. The young lady in question has since gone on to become a great success in her field, with a regular column in the Daily Mirror. She appears on GMTV, has written for Heat, and turns up regularly performing talking head duties on those dreary pop-culture countdowns that clutter up the schedules at Channels 4 and 5. More recently she’s been seen on Big Brother’s Little Brother as resident expert on all things housemate. Don’t all scramble for google at once.

It was a strange affair. Our eyes met in a crowded pub after some indie-gig-or-other, and before you knew it we were huddled in a corner desperately trying to figure out what it was that we might have in common. The answer, somewhat surprisingly, was Geri Halliwell. She was obsessed with the whole Girl Power phenomenon, then at its peak, whilst I was an ardent fan of Ginger Spice’s more-than-ample bosom. And, if truth be told, I was quite fond of some of that first album, in a desperately insulting post-ironic fashion.

So we arranged to meet. Somehow I ended up promising to make my date a Spice Girls Spice Rack, hastily cutting out pictures of the five spices and pasting them to a rack purchased just for the occasion. We met in a Spanish bar in central London, I offered my gift, and in return was presented with a plaster model of Geri, hand-crafted, a limited edition of one. It’s just about the best thing anyone has ever made for me.

Anyway. The date was only a mild success, she went on to form a serious if ultimately calamitous relationship with one of my best mates, and Geri swiftly mutated from voluptuous pop princess into idiotic, wizened crone.

And the reason I mention all of this now? Because she popped up very briefly in a dream last night (the date, not Ms Halliwell), wearing an Indian sari with a giant pair of nappies over the top.

I am not quite sure what this means.


  1. Bradwell’s spanish wine bar?

    Says something about me that what I’m interested in is the bar rather than anything else. However, there are two mitigating aspects, namely: 1) I am aware of this, and 2) I am pissed at the moment.

    Actually, does that last one count as mitigating, or as evidence for the prosecution?

  2. You mean Bradley’s? On Hanway St? Then yes. And then no.

  3. Oh that is a lovely story. Hand made gifts are unbeatable. The spice rack is a fine idea, it’s a shame you don’t have a photo.

    To dream of a sari indicates gaining increased confidence and success in social life. The tone of your post indicates that you a pleased with her success and no doubt tie this in with an increased social life that she has.

    The nappies are a sense of insecurity or need of care, or perhaps someone having created a mess of their life and needing someone else to clean it up and make things better.

    It’s quite common in dreams to attach two conflicting symbols to someone in your life. You are fighting the image of success and confidence that she is projecting in your head with the need that you have to care for her. i.e it’s likely that you are somewhat threatened by her success and what would happen if you actually had a serious relationship with her.

    You probably say to yourself “yeah she’s on tv, and is partying with her tv friends. it would have never worked out between us.”.

    It may also be a sign that you prefer a relationship where you are the succesful alpha male rock and the female is needy and thrives off your comfort and confidence. And she was an example of a strong determained woman (The obsession with girl power would corroborate this)

    Your interest in meat and being more connected to the origin of meat is a possible sign of testosterone compensation.

    The levels of testosterone decrease in males as they hit 40 where as testoserone increases in woman. Women often become more assertive and aggressive while men become more passive and gentle. Some struggle with emotions and often compensate by doing more manly things like bying a super bike or taking up running. Consider that the dream could be a reaction to your changing body chemistry.

    Remember that the feelings in your head are often little to do with the person but the way you see the world and how the person fits into that word of yours. Be honest about what you liked about her and what you think she may have been able to offer you and the answer may become clear.

  4. last night the two cute blokes i met at the pub turned up in my dream as mick jagger and keith richards. I think that somethings are better left unexplained.

  5. Dermot O’Leary? Did he used to be a bird?

  6. Everything that Bendigeidfran says. Plus: you’re slightly mad.

    And yay for personalised gifts.
    I take it that it wasn’t actually signed by Geri, herself?

  7. Not that I know of.

    I think that while Bendigeidfran’s reasoning and logic are highly plausible, the conclusions drawn are somewhat flawed. But only because they scare me.

  8. what you are draming about is “chicken” Rasmussen

  9. oooh, weirdo.

    who wears nappies over their sari, for godsake?!

  10. Is it Miriam Stoppard from the Dear Miriam pages?

    Ok, maybe not, but I can’t think who else writes for the Mirror, except for Carol Vorderman.

    I suppose it must be one of the 3AM girls?

    Guess the famous date is a great game though.