I have decided: my new ambition is to put on as much weight as I possibly can, to the point where fat suffocates my limping heart and I can no longer raise myself from the sheets without bedsores tearing flesh from my swollen, useless torso. They’ll need a crane to cart me off to hospital, I tell you. And so, to start, I made some yummy turamisu.

Tomorrow, if you’re really lucky, I’ll post a picture of my 70s-stylee black forest gateaux. It contains approximately 9000 calories.


  1. Mmmmmmm…….tiramisu. That reminds me so much of living in London (where, true to your ambition, I managed to gain 15kg in 13 months). Best tiramisu in London is made by a little Nonna and Nonno Italian place on the corner of the Chiswick High Road and Turnham Green terrace. Cheap, authentic and ridiculously good. Then again, I do love homemade tiramisu: extra coffee, extra alcohol, extra good (tongue hanging out dripping drool, Homer-style….).

  2. Oooooh, tiramisu, one of my favoritest things ever!

  3. I’ve never been a massive fan of tiramisu but god damn it that looks amazing. First paul and now tiramisu. Are you trying to make everyone else just as fat as you want to be?

  4. My, that looks good.
    Can I chuck my recommendation in? Angelo’s in Twickenham
    Good luck with the diet..Kate m

  5. Oh my god, you must of also seen the program on the 750llb man.

  6. do you want to join the national sumo team?

  7. Trying to lose the weight myself, less to drag around London for the marathon, at least it’s for a good cause (see my updated link!). What’s your weight gain for Frazer? It might be worth consulting the Hollywood Upstairs Medical College manual for weight gain if you’re really serious…

  8. Don’t do that Fras, I had a weird vision of you in a bed that with a TV crew and some random cats hanging around.

    They’d have to wheel you onto the David Letterman Show…

  9. Ah, the fattie with monster cats..
    Has anyone seen Taxidermia?

  10. I just gained 10 pounds looking at it.