Well, that was quite some night. I finally got round to celebrating my birthday with a rooftop BBQ featuring several kilos of prime Argentinian steak straight from a highly secret source at the embassy. Touchingly, my friends finally headed my pleas to help me find a woman, buying me two girlfriends for the evening. The first was of the virtual variety on CD-Rom, whilst the second was made of high-quality burn-resistant rubber, with the look of a Russian long jumper applying an indecent amount of make-up for a podium appearence. It was also the first party I’ve ever hosted that was gatecrashed by a successful author, chick-lit star Lisa Jewell. Naturally enough I immediately bored her senseless with a drunken ramble about my own lofty literary ambitions, ignoring the likelihood that this was a conversation she probably has with every new person she meets. I swear I’ll never learn.
I hasten to define ‘gatecrashed’. Sarah and I were dragged off Shoot Up Hill by three Chileans and frogmarched to a penthouse flat full of men and blow up sex dolls. There was a dead fish in the freezer, slabs of dubious-looking ‘beef’ on the barbecue and a handful of very nervous-looking women in the living room. We were made to dance to Rainbow and a man in a stripey shirt locked himself in the kitchen with me and stared into my eyes for what felt like an eternity.
We finally made our escape at 2.30 in the morning and ran all the way home. We can’t help feeling we were the lucky ones – some of those poor women looked like they’d been there for years. I’m planning on breaking out of chicklit and writing a book about my experiences – it’s going to be called the House of Fraser – One Night of Hell and Degradation in Kilburn.
But in all seriousness, Sarah and I had a top, top night. The chances of turning up off the street to a party where you know absolutely noone and having such a great time are very slim indeed. Especially in London. So thank you so much for your hospitality – it was a most unexpected but hugely enjoyable experience. And thank you for the link – I’ve had 20 hits today already off your site. That’s how I knew where to find you – my stats page led me here. And if all those twenty people end up buying one of my books, that’s an extra ?12 in my royalty account. Excellent!
I will be a regular reader now. I’m so crap at surfing – I always end up looking at the same fifty pages in rotation, so a good links site is just what I need.
Take care and thanks again,
Lisa X
Yes – thank you very much Fraser – you were extraordinarily hospitable to us considering we came empty handed, weren’t really invited in a proper fashion and stayed rather longer than the half hour we had planned at the outset. We did think yesterday with our hangovers that it had been a shared hallucination but it seems you and your home with its views over London really exist. Very nice website too – I particularly like the random kitten generator – hours of amusement.
Thanks again – see you in Food World
Sarah
x
Ladies, I’m just glad that you managed to escape. As Lisa suspected, some of those other girls have been there rather a long time, and I’m amazed that you managed to get past the sentry on duty and the searchlights mounted on the roof. I must have been on the toilet at the time.
Well i made this site and its soooo cool!I like kittens more than anything.I went all around the state and i found alot of pics!
excuse me?
like, LOL!
She went around in a state and she saw pictures. I say it’s LSD.