Archive for February, 2002

car sex

“‘Having sex with a car’. The phrase is sometimes misunderstood to mean sex in a car, and sometimes is greeted with skepticism. How can you have sex with a car? The short answer is, up the tailpipe.” Ahhh, of course. If you’re curious, there’s more here.

kill everyone

“The world is overpopulated. The people that overpopulate it are stupid. They should be killed. Please help us achieve this noble goal virtually by participating in the Kill Everyone Project.” And so I signed up.

crap machine

The Crap machine does exactly what you might think. After inserting the ideal specifications of the turd you desire, the results are proudly displayed onscreen for your delectation. Disgusting. And that just leaves the clearing up.

whirl-mart

“The ritual consists of interested humans arriving at a predetermined Wal-Mart at 12 noon on the first Sunday of every month and proceeding to push empty shopping carts slowly and silently through the aisles. Eventually, all of the participants locate one another and form a single-file chain of anti-shoppers which weaves, wanders, and whirls throughout the different departments of the store for about an hour.” Genius.

christian juggling

“There’s lots of exiting stuff happening! So have fun browsing, and check back often for updates!” Yep, life doesn’t get much more exciting than high times at the Chistian Jugglers Hangout.

cesspool worker

I had the strangest dream last night, in which I travelled the America midwest with my Family, working as an itinerant cesspool cleaner who keeps getting lost. The freaky dreams dream Interpreter didn’t help much, apart from suggesting that I’m possibly out of control, but will be happy and prosperous in old age.