I was going to do an entry listing ten questions I’d like answered, but I could only think of seven. So instead, I’m doing an entry listing seven questions I’d like answered. Here they are.
- If Maradona has a cocaine problem, how come he’s so fat?
- If you open an Excel document, why are you always prompted to save your changes when you close it, even if you haven’t made any?
- Why are Friday night TV schedules filled with the kind of programmes that only appeal to people who are out on Friday night, and therefore won’t see them?
- Why do restaurants serve salt and pepper? If you’re a chef with years of training behind you, someone who’s producing a menu featuring the finest of delicately blended dishes, then the last thing you want is some idiot customer covering your creation with salt and completely altering the flavour. Surely?
- Why is Liverpool’s captain Steven Gerrard continually referred to as inspirational, even though the players around him regularly perform below-par? Inspired, maybe, but inspirational?
- Why is it that I’m convinced I could make Mariah Carey happy, despite the lack of supporting evidence?
- What the fuck am I supposed to do with 50 gmail invites?
Answers on a postcard.