OK. I think it’s about time I finally revealed what’s been keeping me awake at night: Tom (my partner in kittenwar crime) and I have agreed to write a book based on the website. We’re signing up to a very respectable American publishing house, and are currently considering UK offers. Perhaps most thrillingly, we share a UK literary agent with H*** F******y W**********l, meaning that my stalking of the great man can continue unhindered, camouflaged beneath a cloak of professional fellowship.
One thing I guarantee: I will remain unaffected by this good fortune, despite the dream I had the other night, in which I appeared on the David Letterman show, arms outstretched in a crucifix pose, loudly proclaiming “I AM A KITTEN JESUS!” for the benefit of the studio audience, while kittens clambered gleefully over my torso.
Perhaps I just need to see a psychiatrist.
And the bad news? There is *no* bad news.