Apologies for reproducing this in full, but it’s worth it. Every Wednesday morning the Popbitch newsletter announces itself at my inbox, containing all sorts of salacious and libellous rumours relating to our favourite pop stars. This morning a one-off mail arrived, detailing the most idiotic, imbecilic acts or quotations of 2000. First up, straight in a number 10…..
When asked this year which was the worst of the seven deadly sins, Billie’s response was: “I think murder, that’s deadly isn’t it?”
9) A seven-year-old Britney fan
A seven-year-old boy from Tasmania, Australia, pulled out all of his teeth with pliers. The reason? He wanted the tooth fairy to come and leave him enough money to buy a Britney Spears CD.
8) Puff Daddy
Puffy this year claimed to be part Irish: “My name is Sean Coombs,” he said, “so there’s definitely an Irish connection there.” Eejit.
7) Rene from Aqua
Rene got a bit concerned when he lost his video camera while on tour. Probably because the camera contained extensive close-up footage he’d shot of his penis while taking a piss.
6) Cat Stevens
This year, Cat released an Islamic children’s album. He called it “A is for Allah”
5) Steve Strange
The 80s new romantic legend suffered a slight fall from grace when he was caught shoplifting a Teletubby in Wales.
4) Mel C
This was Mel’s summary of pop music: “Kids are getting ripped off by people who are not talented and can’t cut it live” There was also an incident where Mel reportedly asked Robbie Williams to come out of the Met Bar so they could be photographed together: “Just think what a great picture it would make,” she said. “I’m the queen of pop and you’re the king of pop.”
3) Marc Anthony’s father-in-law
The Latino singer has this tale to tell about his wife’s dad: “Recently his dog jumped over the fence and when my father-in-law went to get him back he found that he had the neighbour’s rabbit in his mouth. My father-in-law took the rabbit and washed it and cleaned it up and put in back in its cage with its ears propped up. A bit later on, he heard screams and went running to see what was wrong. The neighbour told him that the rabbit had died a few days ago and he had buried it and now it had somehow got back in the cage.
2) David Beckham
Not content with calling his rottweillers Snoop and Puffy, Beckham tattooed a huge crucifix on his back and posed for loads of ludicrous photos. Discussing his Esquire shoot, black paper New Nation claimed he was paying tribute to Tupac. “Beckham posed with his head bowed to copy Tupac’s stance on the back of his album Me Against The World. The crucifix and gothic lettering are also Tupac trademarks.” Writer Russel Stevens also claimed that naming Brooklyn was a reference to Tupac rival Biggie Smalls: “That name will always be associated with Notorious BIG – it was his birthplace. It’s like the East Coast-West Coast rivalry is being fought out on Beckham’s back.”
1) Geri Halliwell
After a dental appointment, Geri tried to settle the bill by writing a cheque out to “the dentist”
Of course, none of this could possibly be true. Could it?
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