Naturally, I’m devastated. My plan to enter the World of modelling via the House Of Fraser has been dealt a blow from which I don’t expect it to recover. I suspect it may have been a problem with the photos I submitted – perhaps they didn’t like the way I was sucking my beer belly in, perhaps they spotted the nifty air-brush work on my normally prominent double-chin. Either way, I’ve not heard a peep out of the advertising agency, not even a call to say I hadn’t made the final cut, and the deadline has well and truly passed. Perhaps they were too busy laughing.
They’ll regret this, I tell you.