uk blog competition 2003 – the facts

Now that the judging has finally begun, you can fully expect to see us proud members of the UK blogging ‘community’ begin to adjust the tone and content of our weblogs to reflect the fact that we’re now being read by the likes of Moby and that nice fella from Iraq (hey, Salam, loved your book by the way). I plan to quickly redesign my site to make it more acceptable to the panel, and to rattle on at great length about the semantic web and the life-changing power of rss (you’re not expected to follow either of those links, by the way).

Actually, I do have a serious point to make. Let’s pretend that it’s 1977. I’ve been blogging for close on three years which, using the standard analogy of three months on the Internet equating to a year in normal life, means that blogjam is 12 years old. This means that I am like Pink Floyd, formed in 1965, still reasonably popular, but a dinosaur nonetheless, ready to be cast asunder by the spotty new kid in town, punk rock. And do I care? Not a bit.

Let’s smash the place up, bring a little edge to the proceedings. Give the awards to people who don’t give a shit about the vital role blogging has to play in man’s exploration of the solar system or the importance of Google in easing the hardship of otter-farmers on the Scilly Isles. Kill the dinosaurs! Including me! And all those other monstrous leviathans, like Linkmachinego, Mo Morgan, Plasticbag and Haddock. Out with the old, in with the new! Let’s find ourselves a Sex Pistols, a Buzzcocks, even a bloody Sham 69, and get some bloody anarchy going. Bring down the aristocracy! Free Nelson Mandela!

What’s that? You want me to suggest a few possible blogs as suitable winners? Don’t be so fucking daft, I only update this page occasionally, and I certainly don’t read the damn things.

PS: And Moby – make another album like the last one (you know – noodly keyboard sweeps, half-assed drum patterns, sample-reliant twaddle) and I’ll send the boys round to make sure you don’t repeat yourself again. Do we understand each other?


  1. Fraser, send the boys round anyway, mate!

  2. Yeah! I should fucking well win! And I haven’t even entered!

  3. No, I should. I’m so edgie I haven’t even got a blog.

  4. That’s quite enough cheek from you, sonny jim.

  5. i agree with perky pat.
    the cunt.

  6. You don’t even want to know about the *italian* blog competition, in which one of the dinosaurs opened the public vote, then, after noticing that no dinosaur was going to win, closed the public vote and replaced it with a private vote on a list of five nominations chosen by him, only including dinosaurs. And, all dinosaurs started to use their dinosauric blogs to insult all those who complained, and to proudly claim that dinosaurs are better.

    You know, it’s the way we’re used to live with, here in Mesozoic Southern Europe.