In 1974 critic Jon Landau chanced upon a live show by a youthful Bruce Springsteen, immediately proclaiming him to be the ‘Future of Rock n Roll.’ Tonight at London’s Metro venue I saw witnessed Croydon outfit Do Me Bad Things, and while I won’t be risking my unfathomably enormous reputation in the fashion of the esteemed Mr Landau, I will predict that 2004 will be a very successful year for the band, a somewhat extraordinary combination of The Rocky Horror Picture Show and Queens Of The Stone Age. There’s three main singers: two men in Alice Cooper makeup and a girl probably called Aisha or Lakisha or Shemika or something who looks as if she’s left a Saturday job at JD Sports to howl like Mary J. Blige fronting the Spiders from Mars. She’s brilliant, blinged to the gills and sweltering the nastiest kind of sex appeal. The rest aren’t far behind, a unholy mix of council estate chic and glam rock penache. It’s as if the Polyphonic Spree have split into two, with a subversive splinter group electing to worship at the feet of Satan, experiment with crazy yet glamourous designer drugs and practice guitar with Eddie Van Halen. Quite, quite excellent – and remember kids, you read it here first.
I’ve just realised that there’s probably people reading this who have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about. Sorry about that.