metro sexy

I sat next to three women reading tabloid newspapers on the tube this morning, two of them sighing audibly while gazing at the contents of page three. This unusual behaviour was prompted by the appearence of an extremely large kittenwar feature in the Metro.

I’ve done the maths, and it all looks good. Metro claim a daily print run of 1,010,374 copies. I figure that each of these papers will be read carefully before being left on public transport for another reader to enjoy. Each of these subsequent readers will take the paper into work and share the article with eleven colleagues (I reckon that’s an average office size, based on a 246-page pdf file produced by the UK Government entitled ‘UK Business: Activity, Size and Location, 2004’).

In summary, I reckon that each of these people will be so enamoured with what they read that 12,124,488 cat-lovers are likely to visit the site today, meaning that kittenwar will be bigger than MySpace, and Rupert Murdoch will buy us out in a multi-billion dollar web coup.



  1. Hooray, indeed!

    Will we then see a cynical puppywar spin-off?

  2. Great!
    I can’t wait for the kitten recipies! Yum.

  3. Good work!

    How about Tortoise War?

  4. Gosh, that’s rather good, isn’t it?

  5. I was rather surprised to read this, considering you can’t usually get a Metro in Windsor. What a pleasant surprise! It even made the front page teaser!

  6. You and your kittens RULE mate!

  7. Bloody hell! Well done Fraser. Can you please send some of that traffic my way? Perhaps my Blog will gain press notoriety sometime?

  8. Also: “Fraser Lewry, 39”. They’re bastards, aren’t they?

  9. I don’t mind usually, but mentioned in conjunction with a kitten website it makes me sound a bit mental. In fact, that whole piece makes me sound very odd indeed.

  10. “Fraser Lewry, 39?Hah, sayeth the sprightly Yorkshiresoul, aged 38.

    You’re right, you do sound completely barking mad in the Sun article, but if you’re a regular reader here and you’ve seen the Korean karaoke, giant Scotch egg and large lumps of meat cook in bales of hay, then you’d know that anyway.

  11. Or to paraphrase; There is a website that keeps crashing because of all the traffic it gets. Here’s the link for all of the Sun users with internet access (I don’t care to guess how many that it). Here is a quote from the site creator, age, where only one word is in quotation marks. Why not contribute to this trend by sending your photos to our own rip off version?

  12. No way are you 39! No way are you “potty”!