Bollocks to this, I’m off to Middlesbrough. The glamour never stops round here, I shit you not.


  1. Have fun walking among the Smog Monsters.

  2. You can’t complain! I had a project there which lasted a year (week-ends were my only solace!).

  3. Come on up to Newcastle and sample the delights of Toon! If you need a guide, who’s kinda local, get in touch.

  4. you should try a “parmo” if your up there, I’ve never had one but been told they’re rather nice

  5. Yes! Come and savour a Parmo. It’s chicken (or pork) fillet, hammered flat and covered in breadcrumbs and then topped with bechamel sauce and cheese.

    Simon Cowell had one when he came up here to promote the final of X-Factor and he said it was rather nice.

    What you doing in Boro?

  6. Ladies and Gentlemen I regret to announce that Fraser will be killed humanely upon his return from The North to prevent infection the rest of the London population.

  7. Pah, i went to newcastle just before christmas, and i ate’nt dead yet.

  8. o simon says hey…sounds like fried shit to me. there must be a more intresting local dish like uuuummmmm let me think mmmmm oh yeah that’s it fresh fish the sea’s cold and dark up there.. good halibut make sure it’s local and boooo ya in your face flat pack pig (or chicken)…jw

  9. I lived near Boro (not actually in Boro you understand – in Yarm, which is nearby, but much nicer) and I can confirm that the late night junk food take-away of choice is indeed a Parmesan, or Parmo as it’s colloquially known. Commonly served in a pizza box with chips.

    I’d imagine the reason it has never caught on elsewhere is that it’s so incredibly difficult to eat whilst wandering home in a drunken state. Getting hands and clothes covered in baking hot bechamel, cheese and greasy fat doesn’t seem to bother the Smoggies though, for some reason which I’ve never entirely worked out.

    They are very tasty though, in a heart-attack inducing kind of way.

  10. Never fear, Middlesbrough is just like London.

    Only, much, much grimmer.

  11. I worked up in middlesbrough and never really noticed any smog, a couple of chimneys from works on teesside, but not in middlesbrough, I found it rather pleasent and bigger than you would think, lots of parks, cinemas, restaurents etc. it wasn’t grim at all, if the media and a few small minded people here want to think so that is their problem, I’d certainly go back and posssibly live there, there are thousands of plush new apartments and development along miles of river in middlesbrough,

  12. yeh I suppose

  13. I went back to the boro recently and it has changed dramatically since I was there last plus even more development, the University is getting a £20m extension, and the biggest tower block in the north-east is about to get underway, middlesbrough already has the largest tower block already the ‘Centre north-east’ tower plus other attractions including a Premier League excellently run football club, I’m hoping my son can get into its excellent acadamy.