alone again

As it’s Valentine’s Day and I’m without a lady to entertain, I thought I’d check back through the years to see what else I was up to on previous versions of February 14, more than anything else to reassure myself that life hasn’t always been such a desperate solo career.

2005: Alone – reviewed some bread.
2004: Alone – Google mocked me.
2003: Alone – launched Sexpot or Despot. Hooray!
2002: Alone – site temporarily offline.
2001: Alone – linked to a site that isn’t really there any more.

Oh dear.

That hasn’t helped at all. It seems as though the annual celebration of all things romantic is a blighted no-go area, a grey and unhappy land of tortured solitude and bleak horizons here at chez blogjam.

Think I’ll whack some Leonard Cohen on the wi-fi, wrap myself up in my grubby, tear-stained duvet, huddle up with a bottle of Fronsac (Chateaux Vieux Ciron 2000) and work up a healthy stock of self-pity.



  1. Ah honey, you’re in the same boat as me. Check out my list of songs to slit one’s wrists by. Shame I forgot Leonard Cohen and Jacques Brel really. “Hallelujah” and “My Death” would have done it.

    PS: You can “do” me.

  2. That’s very sweet of you, but then you’d go and blog about it. That would be awful.

  3. Is there the queue to mock your sad and lonely existence?

  4. um, there = this. distracted by sandwich = power of ridicule diminished.

  5. Not by much. You may go ahead and ridicule.

  6. Oh, honey. Last night I ate white chocolate fondue with strawberries. Would cheer anyone up, that.

    Milady, is that Hallelujah sung by the wonderful but dead Jeff Buckley?

  7. Yep. Jeff Buckley’s Hallelujah is a cover of the Leonard Cohen original.

  8. Yaaay. Dont nkkow much Cohen, probably more fool me.

    Another cheery-uppy thing is making hot chocolate with white chocolate (Waitrose Belgian is the best) and adding a slug of Baileys to it.

  9. I (and a widening circle of friends) have a ritual. Each Valentines day, if we are single, or at the worng end of the country from our lass, we go out and sample fine wines and ales, followed by the epicurian high of a large donner eatten whilst walking home. The idea is very much beer+boy not birds (to quote one of this years “participants”).

    You’d be more that welcome to join us – this years spectacular was well attended and resulted in many rubbish heads in the office this morning.

  10. there must be a way to find a lady …in this comment section.
    don’t YOU have a single girlfriend for a blind dinner with fraser?

    I would come….but I’m not in the uk and not single.

    let’s go out and find lady blogjam.

  11. @ Oliwood…you mean…theres somewhere in this world on valentine’s day that doesnt serve a poxy set menu and herd couples in and out like Noah’s sheep? Ah, yes! the greasy donner will banish all sense of romanticism with the first whiff of cheap grease.

  12. I’d volunteer – except that I’m three thousand miles away…..,

    But I do love Blogjam….

  13. It could of been worse, you could have been the only singleton sat in the cinema, and felt there pitiying eyes glancing over toward you….

  14. Having just checked your Wish List, I see no sign of the apparantly required girlfriend. You are obviously just trying to gain sympathy from your readers, you sad old intranaut!

  15. I prefer playing “Paint it Black” all day, but that’s just me.

  16. Fras,

    I think you should join one of those online dating things. On this side of the world it is I also think it would make for interesting reading for the rest of us. You could combine your flair for cooking with random dates (not the fruit kind).

    BTW, I leave this Sat morning to spend a week in NZ, meeting up with Derek, Maggi and the sprogs. Auckland and Coramandel Coast. I’ll think of you…. briefly.

  17. Please don’t take offence, but surely the fact that
    you seem quite inclined to snob anything below
    the supermodel standard may have something to
    do with it?

    Just a guess.

  18. None taken. Why do you think that’s the case?

  19. Oh dear, I’m going to get slaughtered on this.

    Riiiiight. Let’s say it is the impression I got from
    your blog entries. Whilst I understand that being
    ‘Between the slowly tensing thighs of a supermodel’
    is just a joke, the few times you mentioned girls
    with a hint of interest they were either ‘very fit
    bird(s)’, former Spice girls or super-intelligent
    porn stars.

    I think that the average pretty Jane would feel a
    bit intimidated by that. I know I would.

    Naturally, I could be entirely wrong, afterall I only
    read your blog and I just met you once (for a
    whopping half a minute).

    What would you look for in a girl, then?

  20. Nonsense, you can’t have a girlfriend, you need to dedicate your passions and energy into the meganet, as you have so righteously been doing.

    We’ll have no fannying about or shennannigans, thankyou. My advice would be to clear your throat, crack yer knuckles and start a new topic, sir.

  21. It is the one covered by Jeff Buckley and then later by Rufus Wainwright, who I can’t stand. I don’t mind Jeff Buckley but he’s a bit “samey” after a while.

    Fraser could have me if he wanted to but then I’d lose my anonymity and I wouldn’t be able to blog about things like following through or not being able to poo in public toilets etc.

  22. Halloo! From Florida! Gosh it’s been ages since I visited blogjam. Usually I am just a voyer but I decided to shed that character and drop a quick line to comment. You’re witty as ever my friend.

    I have to say I think Valentines Day is a silly holiday and in America it is so over the top commercialized that it makes me want to vomit. If you have a Valentine “they” make you feel that you have to hock your soul to buy a gift or your lover will leave you. If you don’t have a Valentine then your made to feel miserably worthless for the weeks approaching the holiday constantly reminded by the little tear jerker advertisements inbetween your favorite comedy sitcom. It’s not a real holiday anyway. It’s made up, to help jewelers meet their quota for the year. Bah humbug!

    The real holiday comes from a pagan celebration that I for one would love to see “them” advertise. Way back when apparently the young fertile people of the clan that were not married, would put names in vessel (all the girls’ names in one, and boys’ in another). They would draw names of the opposite sex and those people would reside together as lovers until the next year. Huzzah! Well it sounds way cooler than the Americanized commercialized modern celebration anyway. I have to say though, knowing my luck, I’d pull the name of the town fool, or some horrible unhygenic guy that I’d have to stay with for a year. Anyway, there’s my two cents worth.
    February 14th is just another day. No need to feel bad, tomorrow is a brand new day. Go find a bird! or shoot a bird or grab a bird or cook a bird. Hee, hee, I love that expression what’s the slang for boy?

  23. Hey Fraser, I spent Valentine’s alone too.

    What the hell?!! It’s all about petty commercialisation – when you’re in a relationship, its a chance to be smug and high minded “Of course, we don’t wait for the one day of the year to express our love for each other…..”

    When you’re not, its a miserable reminder that there are others out there, apparently, having more fun.

    I’d volunteer to be your Valentine but I’d be 363 days too early, 40 miles too away and, worst of all, I could be rejected! Ahh the joys of singleton!!


  24. Siria: I fear you take me at my word, i.e. much too seriously. None of my former girlfriends have been super-models or members of successful girl groups. There’s been a whole range of sizes, shapes and nationalities in my somewhat seedy past, and if I were to be actively looking (and, to be honest, I’m actually not) all I would require, apart from the obvious physical attraction bit, is that a) she likes herself, and b) has a winning smile. No-one will ever believe me, but it’s true. Nice tits are merely a bonus.

    Sharyn: Straight down to business, no messing. I like that. And I like the bikini-on-a-bridge photograph, even though it’s a bit hippy-ish.

    Milady: You know we’re destined to be together, at least once, so quit teasing.

    Anjanette: You’re right. Cooking a bird is often more preferable than cooking for one. And I mean that not in a sexist way, but in a I’m comfortable by myself for the most part kind of way.

    Rachel: I am truly sorry you spent the 14th alone. You commented here, which makes you far more worthy than anyone who doesn’t, which is most people. Come 2007, I want to hear a different story.

  25. Bollocks to Valentines, Fras’ – your mission, should you chosse to accept it, is to procure one of these babies . . . .

  26. Ah, a wonderful reply. Thank you.

  27. Thanks Fraser. :) But I’m afraid that its not a bikini, its a skankin’ set of pants & bra. Lovely memory from a day swimming in the river…so blatantly hippy-ish I’m afraid.

  28. Just to make those singles out there feel better, once you do have a partner, those lovely romantic Valentines are soon out the window when you have a baby. : D

  29. Take heart, 2000 was a damn fine vintage in Fronsac

  30. The only valentine I got this year was from my mother. Not exactly what one would hope. And yes, I did send a couple. Flowers, even.

    Sigh. Thanks Fraser, for catsinsinks which is most consoling.

  31. Quote: “I\’m without a lady to entertain”

    See, I would say that your problem is that female members of the peerage are, by definition, not common.

    Have you thought of entertaining a woman instead? They have all the essential attributes, with the added bonus that there’s a lot more of them around…

  32. Multi-minded devotion to: kittens, food and html. What woman wouldn’t be dying to dine with you?
    I for one would. Just give me some kitchen space, cream cheese, graham crackers, sugar and a few eggs and i’ll give you an award winning cheese cake!
    Wouldn’t mind playing around the kitchen with you to see what we can cook up.

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