I have decided: my new ambition is to put on as much weight as I possibly can, to the point where fat suffocates my limping heart and I can no longer raise myself from the sheets without bedsores tearing flesh from my swollen, useless torso. They’ll need a crane to cart me off to hospital, I tell you. And so, to start, I made some yummy turamisu.
Tomorrow, if you’re really lucky, I’ll post a picture of my 70s-stylee black forest gateaux. It contains approximately 9000 calories.