Archive for June, 2002

The other day (Friday, to be precise), Marcia had a new feature — Fucked-Up Friday Flash — where she pointed her delighted readers in the direction of a dozen or so strange animations from the land of the rising sun. I thought I’d follow suit, but couldn’t be bothered to wait until next week, so you’ll just have to check out my selections five days early. (Note: they probably work best with broadband and sound)

1. An extraordinarily homo-erotic advert for underpants. With some girls in bikinis.
2. I really have no idea what this is about, but at one point it features flying gilded toilet plungers.
3. The Japanese equivilent of Cat Stevens, singing about various types of curry.
4. Once again, I can only struggle to make any sense of this. And fail.
5. It’s about baldness. And Bruce Willis.
6. Joseph Goebbels, shouting.
7. George W. Bush in, er, similar vein.
8. Strange ascii cats play pachinko. It goes on for a long time.
9. Early morning company workout.
10. The best song/video combination ever.

I am truly sorry for what I am about to post. I like to think of myself as being reasonably PC, but this will possibly damage that reputation. Some fifteen entries ago I asked the question: “Is This the best World Cup Ever?” I tend to think that it is, but boy, does this reinforce it. Hubba hubba.

There’s a photo floating round the internet pupporting to be George W. Bush naked, taken some time in the seventies. If it’s a fake it’s a good one, although I suspect it’s a lookalike snapped recently. The facial hair is too nineties, too Brad Pitt, but I’d love to be wrong. What do you think? (not safe for work)

Judging by the picture, George is the sort of fellow who might wear a Man Hood, “an undergarment that acts as a foreskin substitute.” No, really.

There are some weblogs I read most days without ever listing on the right of this page, for no other reason than… well, I don’t really have a reason. ThisBoyIsToast is one such site, and today it’s got a new coat of paint. It’s just lovely – be sure to check out the CD section.

There’s a situation a-brewin’ outside my office. Someone has taken hostages in the American Express building round the corner and the street is cordoned off. A few minutes ago I popped out for a cigarette and the only vehicles let into the road were three unmarked vans containing lots of plain clothes carrying handguns. Now we’re not allowed to leave our building by the front door at all.

[update]: According to this report, he has a bomb strapped to his chest. I might have to go down there and sort this out myself.

[update 2]: Panic over. No-one hurt. We can breathe again.

[update 3]: Perhaps not. We’re being evacuated.

[update 4]: Suspect package removed. No-one hurt.

It’s very odd, the things that people search for that lead them to blogjam. Most surfers are looking for kittens, but there are a lot of very strange keywords that lead here too. In the last twenty-four hours alone, there’s been searches for ‘arse smothering,’ ‘fat people fancy dress,’ ‘barbie+doll sex sex+games sex+fun,’ ‘how to impress your girlfriend,’ ‘Male bulge enhancer,’ ‘man to man sex gay intercourse places and photos’ and ‘brains for sale.’ I’m not sure I’m terribly keen on attracting this sort of clientele, to be honest, but I probably don’t have a say in the matter. Anyhow, I’ve compiled all of yesterday’s search requests on one easily-digestable page. It’s really quite unsettling.

Hmmmm. I don’t remember the Daily Telegraph site looking like this last time I checked…

I suspect that kittens direct is very much work in progress, but it certainly bodes well. Kittens are, after all, 100% guarenteed, bona-fide Internet gold dust.

Just got back from seeing Sonic Youth, as I have done umpteen times over the last fifteen years. Tonight’s show was just about right down the middle; less meandering than some, not as ferocious as others, but the most peculiar moment was realising that their name, for the first time, made complete sense. I’m probably somewhat slower and a little more padded round the girth than when I first saw the band play, but the Youth are a quartet of avant-garde Peter Pans. Thurston Moore still looks like a teenager. Lee Renaldo remains the same indeterminate age he’s always been (somewhere between 20 and 40, as far as I can tell), Steve Shelley looks, well, like Steve Shelley, and Kim Gordon… ahhh, Kim Gordon. Is it OK to find a woman approaching her half century sexy? During “Kissability” I looked round the crowd to see that it’s pretty much the same audience as the first time in 1987, just a bit older, but Kim, Kim, bouncing up and down on stage with all the youthful vigour of a teenage pop idol… you haven’t changed a bit.

Aside from my plan to ply the morons inhabitanting the Big Brother household with unlimited amounts of alcohol, thus lifting the proceedings above the mundane and prompting the contestants to reveal what they really think of each other, I would suggest that Danger Island is the best idea for a reality TV show yet…